2/9/12 02:38 pm
Well, since my last post, things have definitely changed a LOT.
I am no longer friends with the woman he left me for. I WAS still pregnant, but it was not my husbands, it happened after our split, in a fluke moment of crazy drunken irresponsibility (which the kids were not around to know about.) After several visits to the ER where they told me there was nothing they could do, I gave birth prematurely at 17 weeks. It was a little boy, Patrick James, who died shortly after birth(at home.) Shortly after the miscarriage, my so-called friend was called into the principal's office at my children's school where she works, and the police spoke with her. They came knocking on my door and I was investigated for having an unusual handling of my miscarriage. (Read: I didn't do the norm and go to the hospital for the medical staff to throw him away as medical waste, and I *gasp* buried my baby without public knowledge and consent and without going through the funeral homes and cemetaries) I was cleared and no charges were made, but the investigation caused much suffering and emotional upset to my family and the children.
I don't see how I can be friends with a person who is supposed to be supportive, yet talks about me behind my back, dates my husband after telling me she's not, and generally is putting herself in two camps and trying not to be biased against either. It obviously wasn't working. He has now moved in with her, and they are looking for a house to share.
After months of looking for a job in Virginia, and getting to the point where I had no money to pay rent, I was forced to move to a friend's farm in rural Oklahoma where I can work on getting on my feet without eviction hanging over my head. The kids love the farm, we are safe from the dangerous neighborhoods we would have lived in on public housing, and I am STILL not finding a job here. My next step is college or On-The-Job-Training.
Our seperation should be done in late June/early July, and I hope the processing for the divorce doesn't take long. He lost his job before court, so was only ordered to pay $65 in child support, total! He is making more money at a new job now, but with them trying to get a house, I don't see him having extra for his kids...
I am keeping my head up and my attitude as positive as possible. As long as I am ok, the kids are. My main priority will always be taking care of them and making sure they have what they need and feel loved.